Adieu

Hi everyone,

I wanted to write all of you to share some final thoughts about my secular life, my connection to the world of evangelical Christianity, and to explain why I will soon be leaving my role of co-adminstrator and contributor to this blog.  The epistolary form thus seems most appropriate; consider this a goodbye letter.

Let me start with the beginning of the journey that brought me to the creation of this blog. When I was suspended from a Christian college for missing too many early-morning, weekday chapel services  (and after having already completed 2 1/2 years of my education), I made a pretty clean break with my Christian beliefs. It took a few more years to get to my Devil’s Heart Experiment, but for the most part I had little contact with church-going Christians and thought about religion very rarely. This period was followed by the completion of my undergraduate and graduate degrees at a secular state university–again, I was only occasionally immersed in a Christianity-drenched setting.

However, that all changed with the emergence of the MySpace social-media application. One day, as I was browsing, I discovered a MySpace discussion forum devoted entirely to the Baptist, Missionary-Kid boarding school I had attended for three years in high school. The site consisted mostly of ICAers who were about a decade younger than me, but there were also quite a few people from my generation. My first contribution to the forum addressed an ongoing discussion about abortion. I wrote an even-handed and calm analysis of the arguments used to justify the pro-life and pro-choice positions. As the discussions went on over the next several months, I began to waste more and more time each night after work (or even at work) writing these endless rebuttals, explanations and defenses of my views on a whole slew of issues. Those writing marathons became increasingly fueled by bottles of wine and growing frustration, as my posts became more and more incredulous and aggressive. I was actually naive enough to think that providing a full deconstruction of Christian arguments and evidence would show MKs like me they’ve been living their lives based on falsehoods about the nature of reality. Crazy, right? I didn’t realize, at that time, most Christians don’t care about the evidence, or how meaning gets constructed through rhetoric and argument. It’s obvious to me now; I should have remembered that faith (belief without any evidence) is considered a virtue in their belief system–it has to be to perpetuate the belief in the make believe. Eventually, I went on a drunken rant where I insulted the intelligence of the folks I’d been debating, and I left the discussion group for my mental health.

I started this blog when I left that MySpace group. At the time, I discovered I was good at discussing and writing about Christian beliefs from an ex-Christian viewpoint, and it just seemed natural to continue what I had started. As it turns out, this is not a life-long mission for me. Rather, it is a process, and it is not an endless one. I’ve reached a point now where I have nothing new to say, as I feel like everything there is to say about the falsity of Christianity has been said. I needed to write about it to reason it out for myself and to test my arguments for leaks and holes. It’s been fun, but now I want to transition back to that time in my life when there wasn’t so much negativity (i.e. Christian ideas) floating around in my head. I want to be able, once again, to see a news headline related to Christians and to think, “Who gives a fuck?” Even debunking Christianity is a form of immersing yourself in it, and I want to wash that religion right out of my hair. Fortunately, I’m mostly bald, so I don’t anticipate any problems.

My plan within the next few days is to transfer all 119 of my posts to one of the other administrators on this site, so they will continue to exist. I’d like to especially thank Ann and Paulo for working on this blog with me from the very beginning and for writing such great posts and comments. Thanks as well to Jerry, prb3, dsc01, Noraa and Jester for acting as contributors and for writing such thoughtful comments and posts. Finally, thanks to you lurkers out there (JN!) who also made significant contributions to our discussions through your comments.

Best,

Clamence/The Chaplain

Goodbye to Christopher Hitchens, the Mighty Warrior for Reason

Farewell, but no adieu to Christopher Hitchens, writer of God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. Thank you for fighting the good fight against the ignorance and hypocrisy of the powerful.

Here is a quote from Hitchens I found in one of the articles on the web that commemorates his life: “Faith is the surrender of the mind; it’s the surrender of reason, it’s the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals [...] It’s our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me. Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated.”

Bearing the Burden…

I’ve mentioned before that letting go of theism lifted a weight from my shoulders. It certainly did. Believing the unbelievable is an unbearable burden. Carrying constant guilt weighs a person down. But that doesn’t mean that disbelief doesn’t come with its own burdens to bear.

I am fairly “in the closet,” as an atheist, for a number of reasons, the primary one being the likely loss of my job, should I ever come out too publicly. However, whenever I can, I strive to be brutally honest–amiable, to be sure, but wholly unapologetic.

Now, my totally reasonable terror of losing my livelihood is ample evidence of societal discrimination against atheists. That’s only aggravating. The discrimination becomes a burden when it hits closer to home.

Recently, my wife and I were uninvited from an extended Thanksgiving celebration that we had been looking forward to. The bearer of the news, one of my best friends, ever, was pretty irate, but he had to keep the peace with his sister-in-law, who expressed annoyance at the invitation of non-family members. You know, in the grand tradition of the first Thanksgiving, which was about familial insularity and not communion with people one usually didn’t associate with (/sarcasm).

Eventually, it came out that my family–my wife and I, that is–was the specific problem. The aforementioned sister-in-law to my dear friend doesn’t trust us wicked atheists around her children.

And there is the burden. It’s one thing to be able to feel righteous indignation about discrimination in our society. It’s another thing to be barred from a family gathering (and I do consider this friend to basically be my family) because one is an atheist.

That’s pretty rough. And it’s a bunch of bullshit. And it hurts.

But that’s life, after all.

Be like Christ.

Okay, maybe not like this one. The other one with the loaves and fishes for every single person in the world.

Forgive me father…

P.S. love ya Christians, or at least the ones I love, but can’t help posting this. I know most Christians don’t personally want people to suffer, but God sure seems to want it, and we are told in His Word to be more like Christ…

I am totally quoting a Facebook friend

Here’s a quote by a Facebook friend, who also happens to be an atheist, an MK, and a Master of Divinity. Like the contributors to this site, a majority of his friends and family are fundies. He is writing in response to a fundamentalist “friend” who has a long history of going onto his wall and posting incendiary comments under his status updates. His page is public, so I don’t think he’d mind me putting this up, at all…(shout out). Although he has technically “come out” as a non-believer, this is the first time I’ve seen him write this strongly about his lack of faith. He was attacked by more than one fundamentalist in this same thread:

Everyone has had hardships in their life, but I’ve not been ‘hurt’ in some way that makes me broken and angry toward God. You don’t know me, or my heart. Honestly, it’s completely inappropriate for you to speak like that. You should be ashamed of yourself. And it’s completely arrogant for you to assume that if I don’t believe in God I must be angry. What a cop out. You are just making stuff up, that has no basis in reality.

No, I don’t believe in God or Jesus, because I have no reason to. Where are they? What are they doing in this world? Nowhere. Nothing. If Jesus was ruling on earth, I’d serve him. But he’s not. How convenient, he went up to ‘heaven’ to rule. Ya, JFK is ruling in heaven too, right? Anyone can claim that, and it’s completely irrelevant. Unless God is active in the world, unless Jesus is ruling on earth, he’s irrelevant. And anyone who believes in his ‘rule’ is deluding themselves. Do it if you like, but don’t act surprised when others of us consider it delusional. We don’t ‘hate’ God, or run from Jesus because we’re hurt. We just don’t feel like deceiving ourselves and making things up. If it’s true, let’s see it. If it’s not something that we can know, then we’ll let others have their faith.

I’ll leave the condescending judgement to the religious people like yourself.

While I haven’t been hurt in some way that has broken my ability to think rationally and that has caused me to “run from god”, I have heard the same line from many people and my patience for that tactic is gone. I will not tolerate it. It does however go along with what I’ve consistently witnessed in the Christian community by a minority of people, albeit those in positions of power. I’ve seen it used against others and I’ve had it used against me. I’m speaking of this tendency for Christians to start thinking they have some special insight into the heart or spiritual life of another. And it’s usually masked in “concern” for the wayward brother, but it’s mostly arrogance and manipulation to accomplish some agenda. Very often it’s completely mistaken, like your comment. But these leaders have such spiritual authority in their dominions that few people are able to challenge them for fear of being labeled a rebel and trouble maker so the spiritual abuse continues. This has been rampant in nearly every Christian community I have been a part of, and that is a lot. It’s a way for these leaders to defend themselves by asserting spiritual superiority, and to avoid dealing with issues by projecting weakness in other people, under the guise of the holy spirit’s insight. I makes me so angry to witness that sort of abuse. That’s the background hopefully you can understand why I recoiled at you statements. And hopefully you will think twice before ever doing that to someone again.

I apologize for my inciting words as well. You are right that we have different perspectives. I didn’t post this to start an argument with you. But if enough people poke the dog, don’t be surprised if it bites back. It was a diary of my own thoughts on my wall. I welcome feedback but only if its intelligent and on topic. I do my best to respond to the numerous trails that fork off but I do get frustrated by statements which are patently false, e.g. It violates the laws of thermodynamics.

It really drives me crazy to hear someone say that they are the protectors of true science, contra all the scientists that disagree with them. Especially when that person’s entire world view is based on faith without evidence, and is the opposite of “good science”. It is difficult to hear you attack evolution as bad science, even though it has been rigorously debated and studied and tested for two hundred years by eminent scientists that know their field and the scientific method far better than you or i will ever know, meanwhile your beliefs are the exact opposite of good science. How can you condemn evolution as bad science, which is a very difficult thing to prove, and at the same time embrace a belief that flies in the face of all science. You can’t ride the same horse you are beating. Any claims you make against a closed loop equally apply to creation and God. We talk about physics because these laws govern how our known universe works. But there is much about our universe that we don’t know about. Origins of matter are mysteries we haven’t discovered yet, but that doesn’t mean we won’t learn. Or if they remain mysteries that is okay too, the physics and biology we can observe and test can still be true even if we don’t understand the origin of matter. It may call into question our perception of time, of start and end, and we may learn that to ask where something came from is in fact a silly question if there is no beginning or end but only a time loop where all things simply are. Will we understand, maybe never. But that doesn’t mean that within this reality plane things don’t work the way we observe.

In seminary Bruce Waltke pointed out the plain fact that there had to be cellular death before the fall. Trees have bark, animals ate plants, overpopulation of bacterial that never died would have killed the host animals that rely on them. Bugs and animals would have overpopulated and destroyed all life like a swarm of locust. It doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. And it only has to if you assume the authors were writing a modern scientific history, which clearly they were not.

The point is that Christianity does not teach science. It is skewed to the cultural knowledge of the writer’s time. And it’s preposterous to try to take the creation story as science because it simply is not written for that purpose. You are fighting a battle that isn’t important. And in the process you are condemning good science because it challenges your view of the bible, and this makes you suspicious of all science do you become an obstacle for responsible environmental stewardship as well. It’s all connected.

The fundamentalist guy comes back with the comment:

Just defending my God as you defend yours.

My friend CM, after deleting the guy W as a friend, responds:

You didn’t act like a friend W…. You never had anything but criticism for me. So I’m sure it’s no surprise that you’ve made yourself unwanted. There are consequences for your behavior. I’m sure it’s no great loss for either of us. You didn’t value anything I said anyway.

Take that! lol!!

P.S. Something he wrote earlier in this thread, in response to the claim evolution does not explain the complexity of life on earth:

You said “evolution” is bad science. Micro evolution is evolution. There is no difference, except scale and time. It’s the same principles. The universe is about 14 billion years old. We can see that in space radiation. We can calculate down the first fractions of a second when the big bang occured. The earth is about 4.5 billion years old. That’s a long time. Like it or not, a lot of micro-evolution has happened over the course of earth history. You and other Christians have way too simplistic a view of evolution. You fail to comprehend the scale of a millions of years and the minute changes that accumulate over time. The fossil record shows these subtle changes. Living species show how fast species can adapt. It’s crazy to think about. It’s mind blowing to comprehend, but then again, so is that scale of time. We can’t comprehend the size of the universe, or the scale of 14 billion years. And yet, it’s real. Just because we can’t comprehend it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible.

Evolution is a theory. Just like Gravity. We don’t know everything about it. Science doesn’t claim to have complete knowledge, only what it knows how to test today. But we can know enough, to have confidence that gravity is real and predictable in most situations. The same is true of evolution. We don’t know with certainty how everything happened, we can’t literally look back in time. We can only study the fossil remains and living biology. And we will continue learning more. But we have learned enough to say that evolution is the best theory about the origin of the species, based on the best science that is available to us. In the future we may have better science and our theory may improve, but it is the best explanation for the facts that we currently have.

You may accept six day creation by faith (many christians hold that it’s a poetic myth told for theological purposes). That’s fine. But it has no scientific evidence to support it. So don’t attack evolution for not being completely provable. At least evolution has way more proof than creation. If you don’t care about science, fine, believe in six day creation and ignore the science of evolution. But don’t pretend that it is ‘bad science’ because it contradicts what the bible says. Just agree to believe the bible regardless of science, because that is what you are doing.

You may not like the science because it makes you ask hard questions about your faith. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that the science is bad. Don’t try to claim science as your defense, while at the same time believing in a faith that has no scientific evidence. You can’t have it both ways.

Bang bang!

I believe in Superman

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

Christopher Hitchens

Permission Slip

One of my favorites:

http://27bslash6.com/easter.html

How Militant Atheists Compare

 

Science as a “belief” at best, as a target of attack at worst

Lately I’ve been following recent discoveries in the science news more than in the past. And I’ve realized, as I attempt to talk with other people about the stuff I find interesting, there is very little interest in science in general in our wider society. I am boring, and yet, to myself, this stuff is fascinating! Where is this disconnect coming from, this shrugging off disinterest at best, antagonism at worst, toward the best method in our possession as humans for gaining an understanding of our world?

Our brains are extremely belief sensitive, and this knowledge draws me to science in a way I can’t explain. Imagine what it is like to become a person that is not only skeptical about the world around them but about their own ideas, so that they understand the illogic that makes themselves them, or me me. I question myself on my views, such as with my views about racism, sexism, homophobia–am I seeing these things clearly enough or too clearly? It is easy to see a boogie man where there is none. But I have to say, even atheists, although logical, from my observation frequently are not logical enough when it comes to themselves–which makes me wonder about me. I think it is sometimes easier to see outside of ourselves more clearly than we see ourselves. People are emotional. We tie our thoughts into our emotions, especially those strong chemical emotions based in our memories. Am I missing something, I ask myself, some truth about myself?

I read an article in Shermer’s eSkeptic periodical today that grabbed my interest (as much as his stuff does!): Denialist Demagogues and the Threat to Science. The article is a review of a book by James L. Powell on the general reaction to the science of climate change called The Inquisition of Climate Change. Frightening how adamantly people deny climate change is a reality. It’s not even an area for debate in the scientific world, even conservative scientists knowing it is real. But scientists are painted as left-wing liberal conspirators, driven by a desire for riches and pushing a liberal agenda. This despite most scientists being too interested in their science to give much attention to politics at all, almost across the board. Scientists simply aren’t interested in politics. There are no riches to be found in science, except metaphorically speaking in reference to knowledge. But interestingly, there is a disparity in pay for the science professions when compared to those of the people who attack science with their rhetoric the most vocally, such as businessmen and politicians. Most scientists spend 5-7 years in grad school only to make teacher’s salaries or receive fragile “soft money” grants to do their research; lucky if they are one of the few to get a six figure salary as they near their retirement as scientists. What scientists as a whole do pursue is the truth, but people cannot sift through their own perceptions based in belief to understand this concept. They can only understand scientists as they understand themselves. Their minds are clouded by their own perceptions. So all kinds of ulterior or manipulative motives, often their own, are ascribed to scientists.

Knowing fundamentalism well, I personally think some of these people probably think Satan is at work in science, with His Satanic hands over those of the scientists. Donald Prothero, the geologist reviewing Powell’s book, quotes Powell regarding this conservative belief that scientists have an agenda and support “belief” in something–such as an anti-God agenda or an agenda to destroy America as we know it:

Scientists…show no evidence of being more interested in politics or ideology than the average American. Does it make sense to believe that tens of thousands of scientists would be so deeply and secretly committed to bringing down capitalism and the American way of life that they would spend years beyond their undergraduate degrees working to receive master’s and PhD degrees, then go to work in a government laboratory or university, plying the deep oceans, forbidding deserts, icy poles, and torrid jungles, all for far less money than they could have made in industry, all the while biding their time like a Russian sleeper agent in an old spy novel? Scientists tend to be independent and resist authority. That is why you are apt to find them in the laboratory or in the field, as far as possible from the prying eyes of a supervisor. Anyone who believes he could organize thousands of scientists into a conspiracy has never attended a single faculty meeting.

Powell’s main point is that the current right-wing attack on climate science is very similar to how the Inquisition threatened Galileo because he spoke truth to power. Ironically, Rick Perry even managed to further emphasize his ignorance of science when in a recent debate he said he admired Galileo and how he “was outvoted for a while.” Bad analogy, Rick! If Perry actually knew any science, he would realize that Galileo was championing an unpopular scientific idea (heliocentric solar system) that was “outvoted” by the conservative power of that time, the Catholic Church and the Inquisition. Eventually, scientific truth won out, not the political delusions of the conservatives.

What’s crazy is these climate change scientists receive death threats, with one climate change scientist finding a dead animal lying on his doorstep. A dead animal. For some reason I don’t think it was intended to be interpreted like a rat gift from a cat… As though these scientists are some kind of activists. Maybe they are? Activists for the truth. Check out these articles on the death threats received by climate scientists, so intimidating they have begun to disguise their identities from the public!:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2010/jul/05/hate-mail-climategate

http://nextgenjournal.com/2011/06/the-dangers-of-being-a-scientist/

Sometimes I think we live in a world of apes with the ability to speak, and we call ourselves humans, but we are really just another kind of ape that has gone insane and is now aware of our existence and mortality…but we are still just animals mainly acting on instinct…and we must destroy any perceived threats to our manufactured reality and identities.

Science is not a belief, no more than atheism is a belief in nothing. But people insist on this because they MUST fit science and atheism into their own box. It is how they are able to integrate it into their belief systems. Why do I personally love science? Because, I can’t get outside of my perception, but science brings me closest to seeing through the fog of human bias. As Prothero writes:

There may be biases in our perceptions, and we may want to find data that fits our preconceptions about the world, but if science is done properly, we get a real answer, often one we did not expect. That’s the true test of when science is giving us a reality check: when it tells us something we do not want to hear, but is inescapable if one follows the scientific method and analyzes the data honestly.

Thomas Henry Huxley said it best over 150 years ago: “Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abysses nature leads, or you shall learn nothing.”

Thank you Jesus?

 

 

Obama Bait: Catch Those Heathens Any Old Time

At a gas station yesterday I found this $1,000,000 bill. Someone had placed it against the Exxon mini-billboard ad over the gas pump I was using:
The front side of this gospel tract disguised as a bill features a pretty good shot of Obama that doesn’t appear to be caricaturing him. This leads me to conclude Obama is being used as bait to attract unsuspecting liberals. The creators of this tract know how much liberals love Obama and free money from the government! Those sinful Obamabots are sure to pick up this bill, only to find their hearts convicted by the message of God disguised in fine print.

For instance, on both the upper left and lower right, next to Obama’s devilishly handsome, anti-Christ-like grin, the question “Do you believe?” is hidden in the bill’s serial number. Also check out the signature by someone who heads the “Department of Eternal Affairs.” The seal on right reads: You Shall Not Steal.

The reverse side of the bill presents an interesting narrative almost as irresistible as the pull of Obama’s smiling face and the prospect of getting a free handout from the government at the expense of other hardworking, God-fearing Americans. And I’m not kidding about the fear. This tract was made by Custom Tract Source, and the opening lines of text on their website homepage read:

Welcome to Custom Tract Source!

Most Christians don’t realize that every second two people die…

That’s 160,000 people every single day walking into eternity forever: Heaven or Hell. Does that thought concern you?

But back to the narrative on the reverse side of the Obama-bait bill. You can try reading the text off the image of the bill above, or you can read my transcription of it below (along with my first-thing-that-popped-in-my-head mental annotations in brackets)

The world is changing and crisis grips the nations: economic uncertainty, wars, the threat of terrorism…where can we find hope in these uncertain times?

[This must be a political flyer.]

As distressing as it seems, there is a crisis even more urgent: the fact that death awaits us all.

[Wow, you must be great fun at parties, "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Julie."

"Nice to meet you too. I'm David, and your doom awaits!"]

When we die, we will all stand before the Judge of the Universe. How will you do?

[Um, what?]

Ever lied, stolen, or looked with lust? Ever taken God’s name in vain or failed to put Him first? If you have broken even one of these laws, God sees you as a lawbreaker.

[Holy. Fucking. Shit.]

Picture yourself in a courtroom guilty of many serious crimes.

[I think I missed something. Is there a parking or speeding ticket involved? Is this a felony we're talking about, here?]

The Judge’s sentence is: A million dollar fine, or life in prison.

[I gonna have to go with the fine.]

You are unable to pay the fine,

[Shit!]

so the guard begins to lead you away.

[Now where to? Anther courtroom? More judges?]

Suddenly, someone you don’t even know steps in and pays your fine in full. That means you are free to go!

[Yay! For a minute, I thought this message was a bit pessimistic, but clearly I was wrong.]

That is what Jesus did for you 2000 years ago. He took your punishment upon himself by taking God’s wrath on the cross. Then he rose from the grave, defeating death.

[Wait. So this guy was drawn and quartered...sorry, I mean crucified...and he survived? And he lay in a coma, or something, for a whole three days? And why is God so pissed at me?]

Repent (turn from sin) and put your trust in Jesus Christ to save you.

[What are these "sins" you're talking about? Those laws about lying, stealing and lust? Aside from lying and lusting, I leave the other one pretty much alone, and I try not to overuse the others too much.]

God will grant you eternal life.

[How's that work, exactly? Coz I don't remember seeing any eternal, vampire-like Christian creatures roaming around the city. You'd think there'd be millions of them accumulated over the past 2,000 years.]

Don’t wait until tomorrow…You may not have another day. Please visit www.TheGoodTest.net

[I'll head right over...let me just get my cellphone out...]

[I'm supposed to be asking a different question? Your question does intrigue me though, because it's got to be difficult to come up with some kind of objective measuring system to judge the quality of my goodness. I was gonna fill my car up with gas right now, but suddenly I realize that's a complete waste of time when compared to the questions I could be asking myself about the possibility of finding a cure for human death and entry to an eternal realm of everlasting life!]

[Oh, I CAN objectively measure my goodness? Okay, let's do this!]

[Hatred for your parents, siblings, friends and even your own life? Your worldview sounds hardcore! Is it at all based on Sun Tzu's The Art of War?]

[So the concept of a kind, loving god is idolatry? Let me think: guilty or innocent...I think I'll click on innocent, since I didn't know God was so angry and hardcore until you told me just a second ago. God couldn't be mad at me if I didn't know, right?]

[I guess I say "Oh my God!" a few times a day, but that could be any god. I never say "Jesus Christ!" so I should be good. God gave me everything precious, like family and my life? Aren't those the same things I was supposed to hate a few slides ago? Using Hitler's name in vain? As in, "Holy fucking Hitler!"? That doesn't roll off the tongue too well--that might explain it. Since I'm only a user of a generic "Oh my God!" I'll go ahead and click on innocent.]

[I relax all weekend long. Two days! Innocent!]

[Honor, as in chivalry? Or do you mean normal arguments people have with their folks in adolescence? I thought it would be ok. I didn't know it meant I was guilty of a crime. I'll click on guilty for this one...]

[Man, it is SO easy to sin! So hating someone is murder? I thought murder meant killing someone? There are so many truths I've been so ignorant of my whole life! Thank you for sharing these truths with me! And to think I found these truths at the gas station. I feel convicted...yes, I have murdered a whole lot of people--already several today.]

[What about wet dreams? Are those okay? What if I throw away my pajamas and burn the sheets?]

[I always thought the title of "thief" was reserved for folks like Robin Hood. I did steal candy once as a kid, but I chalked it up to my just being a kid who was learning society's social rules. Lord, I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd get so pissed!]

[My mom made a horrible casserole last week, and I told her it was good. How can I tell her the truth while also honoring her? Please Lord, teach me the complexity of your laws!
That murderer thing is still connected to hatred, right? It's crazy how doing something once brands you with a permanent title. That makes me a dishonorable, murdering, thieving, lying adulterer! Oh my God! Oh no, and a blasphemer! A lake of fire? What the hell is that?! Lord, please save me!]

[But what if I see another Christian, like the creators of this tract and website, who have learned the secrets to successfully obey God's laws? Would it be okay to covet their lifestyle? Could I covet Jesus' lifestyle? Maybe this law only applies to coveting sinful stuff? I'm so confused. Maybe you have some more slide series like this one, but with more information on them?]

[Well, yeah, NOW I can see that I haven't been measuring up. Frankly, though, the finer points of what is or isn't a sin, and the equivalency between hatred and murder...that stuff isn't exactly apparent without these great slides to point it out. I hope it's still not too late for me to join your club...]

[Um, no. I had NO IDEA I was doing anything wrong. I mentioned that casserole thing--it really did seem to be a gray area, morally speaking. I did know that murder was bad before, but you got me with the hatred=murder thing. I definitely didn't know that. Why do you ask, is it bad I didn't know this stuff before?]

[I also had no idea God was so pissed! Is this where that lake of fire you mentioned comes into play?]

[No, no, I don't think He's good. I picked that part up when you mentioned how pissed He gets and the lake of fire. Someone with that kind of a violent temper is definitely not good.
No, that wouldn't be a good judge, but I just want to add that I've never raped anyone. It seems like there might be some confusion on your part, when it comes to that.]

[I don't follow. Was the judge offered a bribe? The terms "overly forgiving," "too lenient," or "incompetent" might apply better.]

[Lake of fire, right?]

[Oh, God loves me? I thought He was pissed? I got an invitation? Do I have to do something to get the invite? I thought it was taken care of, because Jesus was going to step in and pay the fine?]

[Ah, great, so it IS all taken care of! You got me all worked up about this hatred=murder thing, the lust, etc., and come to find out Jesus already settled everything. You really should make this stuff clear earlier in the slides to avoid scaring people.]

[And now I DO have to do something? Make up your mind!]

[I once did this with a parachute at Vacation Bible School when I was a kid:
It makes a lot more sense now. Ok, so creating my prayer after reading Psalm 51 and believing in Jesus isn't enough, and I need to also put Him on like a parachute too. Got it. This free bail money is looking more and more difficult to get, but nothing in life is free so it makes sense. What's next? I am ready to learn the secrets.]

[It's true that I do still have a lot of questions, but I agree with you that I sure don't want to fall out of the door of death, grasping for a missing parachute: all because of my petty need to have my questions answered.
It's not magic, yet I'll be transformed? (Forget about the questions, forget about the questions, grab the parachute, grab the parachute...) ]

[Ok, I'd better check out Hell real quick...]

[I get it: if Hitler got no punishment other than extinction, without eternal damnation and burning in the fiery pits of hell, then that would be pretty unfair. That must mean that a scary, burning hell, where worms never die must exist. It's so obvious! Sinners are so blind to the truth!]

[I don't want anything to do with that everlasting shame and that blackness of darkness, and the teeth and fire thing. Creepy. I've not a fan of the concept of eternal anything, but since I have to choose, I'm going to have to go with exhibit A: the Jesus paying the ransom thing, if you strap on His parachute and stop having wet dreams.
Let us pray:
Dear Lord,
Thank you for loving me enough to make these people feel lead to not get real jobs, but to get jobs creating the Obama-bait gospel tract and website to change my positive attitude of myself--from kind, giving, helpful, hardworking--and to convict my heart by revealing my true murdering, hating, lying, lusting, abased and abhorrent, sinful heart.]