Fugitives from Fundamentalism

The Musings of Adult Missionary Kids (MKs) & Former Born-Again Believers

Irreligious Song #17: Aesop Rock, “Holy Smokes”

Posted by Clamence/The Chaplain on April 24, 2011

Here is a song by another underground hip-hop artist, Aesop Rock.

Aesop Rock – “Holy Smokes”

(Man 1: Give him one of these pills if he has any pain.)
(Woman 1: A parable….
Woman 2: What is it?
Woman 1: Well, it’s a little story with a lot of truth in it
An earthly story with a heavenly meaning.
Jesus told many parables to grown-ups and children alike.
He told them simply and sincerely, in words everyone could understand.
So that all might learn the lesson he was trying to teach…)

Well they were selfish with the helmets on the little bus
‘Till brake fluid sewage crippled up the get-retarted nickel punks
slowly cope but swore his lowly robot foley folk
would one day rise in sections to interrogate the Holy Ghost
(I knew it!)

Holy smokes!
Father. Black suit, white collar.
Kiddie porn dungeon, guns, and three fingers for your daughters
caught belly-up. Antique Nazi paraphernalia.
You can not pay you bills with holy water and Hail Mary luck. (Oh my!)
Shucks, fucker. Enjoy the Alcatraz shower fun.
And mommy’s mad; I’m cliché generation X Agnostic front.
It ain’t the nifty faith in 1958 before the New-New Testament approved altar-boy fistic rape.
And take me to your leader ‘long as he don’t manipulate toddler-beaver. (Leave him alone!)
Call me crazy but I’d bet that wasn’t God’s demeanor.

Sod-o-meter peaking. (Me too!)
But Long Island was Jesus every weekend spoon-fed to appease traditional upbringing
of a Middle Pennsylvania shit-hole where elders movement
stressed the stellar therapeutic Bible cycle. (How?)
One church with a bait and tackle store next door and not much more.
So the two moved to New York, made babies raised on what they’d saw.
Christmas morning smelled fresher than angel pussy.
But immaculate conception came second to playful goodies.
Like laser-tag was way more spiritual than blood and body wafer bags
and manger staff as long as Santa ate the cookies (Well…)

Grandma was a saint while he’d paint with snakes and bullies
Said “If only you’d memorized your prayers like you did your Kool-Gs”!
By the time I was old enough to know what religion was
I was Catholicism-numb and truly didn’t give a … FUCK!
94′: Moved out the crib and it ain’t seen a steeple since
While Knievel-Evil seeps in a Christian leader’s pitch
till priest’s lap slapped with parental advisory warnings:
“I’ll be auditioning Gods in my office on Monday morning”.

Uh-oh! And yet another pill slipped
down the hatch It patch him through the kill-switch
I need a couple As for Qs
I’m not an asshole I’m just a little confused

(Woman 1: This story reminds us of the one Jesus told about people who were kind and helpful to others.
He said that one day the king would say to these people
“Come, inherit the kingdom prepared for you
For when I was hungry you gave me food
I was sick and you visited me.
I was in prison and you came to me.”
But the people asked
“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you?
Or sick or in prison and come to you?”
And the king answered
“In as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren,
you have done it unto me.”)

Just a little bruised in the back of the pews
acting amused with a mask on them Vatican blues
for in the eyes of the organization I was raised in
Aes’ is just another sinning brick in Hell’s basement.
Cubicle adjacent to the killers and rapists.
For what? Drugs and fucking is part of growing up.
Like cups offa dumb shit’s better than the schools!
I’m not an asshole I’m just a little confused.

Just a lit fuse in the back of the pews
watching a thousand flavors of the same God feud.
I figure ultimate-peace is the common theme.
So it’s a no-brainer-peace when the blood hit the screen.
Got a basic good and evil sensibility born
Good neighbor know a halo wouldn’t fit over horns.
I’m more science than faith, I’m more karma than bread and booze.
I’m not an asshole I’m just a little confused.
Not an asshole I’m just a little confused.
Not an asshole I’m just a little confused.
Not an asshole I’m just a little confused.

(Man 2: You know what, to be completely honest, Aesop, you’re a fucking asshole.)


2 Responses to “Irreligious Song #17: Aesop Rock, “Holy Smokes””

  1. Ann said

    Being taught religion at home, then science in school, has gotta be confusing for kids. To believe, or not to believe, that is the question (puff puff or bam bam).

    Some people can’t help but smoke Jesus, to tie in the previous song #16. lol (I pun)

  2. Ann said

    P.S. Interesting fact: Aesop’s Fables probably weren’t written by Aesop. They are thought by scholars to be written by a collection of unknown authors. Aesop’s very existence is even in question. If he existed, these fables would have been written down centuries after his death.

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